expressing the unique characteristics of the terror

10 things men can do that women kant:

1: flick their pants up into the air with their feet and catch them on their heads and then walk them over to the laundry basket and nod them in from close range, while the whole time wondering if didier drogba does that

2: blow their noses in the palms of their hands after surfacing from a dive into a swimming pool and then whang the bogey into the bushes without hardly any of it going in the water

3: burp out the side of their mouth so that their lips actually ripple like barney gumble‘s

4: order food off a restaurant menu without asking a SINGLE question

5: stop nuclear war from happening by balancing 64 2c coins on their elbow and then sharply straightening the arm to come out of it with every single coin held safely in their hand without even touching the floor…DAMN! okay best of three

6: pick the tomatoes out of a burger king whopper and ping them out the sunroof while overtaking a lorry on a bend. ooops, bugger! sun roof not open

7: go for a wee in the office loos and save time by doing up their trousers as they amble back to their desk

8: wipe the internet history from their laptop with a single dink of the programmable F key they set up as soon as they bought it

9: cry in the middle of the 14th round in the fight at the end of rocky, when balboa raises his gloves and beckons apollo to him, and apollo shakes his head because no man should have a heart big enough to take such a punishment and keep coming

10: pee on the compost heap in winter

Giles Coren, The Times, Saturday 24th November 2012

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