“A clean house is the sign of a boring person . . . “

A middle class skank is something to be,

Beer cans and fags and sport on teevee,

Dust on the carpet with dogs smelling of wee,

It’s fun to be bored, drunk and lazee


Clean houses are for fools. 

 “It’s not a house it’s a home” says Judas Priest and that’s the truth, a home snug with dog haired dust, white kitchen  floor tiles creamed with dirt . . . and dog hair.  Dirty dishes by the sink.  Cupboards housing three year old spice jars and pasta that’s been forgotten.  The yellow lego head with the creepy smile on the dining room table containing an Easter egg from 2010.  A thick film of filth on the teevee and battered blankets with dog hair on the sun stained sofa.  That’s what eyem talking about. Yessir! A home! . . . and then it gets irritating and the decision is made to clean the house.  Beer is bought and music plays, windows open, the ceedees return to their Swedish base, and the Easter egg is binned.  Laminated floors and wooden tables are polished.  Four hours of work and pride swells inside. 

 Lookatha’shit! I did that. 

 The dynasty room sparkles and we smoke.  Another beer opens in celebration. Jerry Lee sings inside and pride swells inside:

It’s a big job gettin’ by with nine kids and a wife

You know I’ve been a workin’ man dang near all my life

I’ll keep on working long as my two hands are fit to use

I drink my beer at a tavern and sing a little bit of these working man blues

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