Unlike previous years I cannot wait until Arthur’s Day this coming Thursday, and with my brothers I too hope to get stocious drunk, shi’ite! I may even try Guinness, not really liking it an’awll. And what brought this turnaround (. . . every now and then I get a little bit restless And I dream of something wild) in thinking was when that godawful Christy Moore and that bore Mike Scott (of the Waterboys) both wrote songs condemning the day, Moores “Arthur’s Day” describes it as a ‘alchoholiday’ and Scott’s “A song for Arthur’s Day” contains such poetic lyrics as:
We’ll show the World we’re drinkers on Arthur’s Day.
Not gentlemen or thinkers on Arthur’s Day.
Look, as we should know by now, the whole point of the day is not to show of Irish ‘culture’ itz to make as much money for Guinness as possible because guess what? That’s what Guiness are there to do, to make as much money for itz shareholders, and itz doing a good job especially with this marketing whiz. If people don’t wanna go drinking on this Diageo Holiday well then . . . don’t go, stay at home and like wifey drink some wine, or Beamish. For God’s sake (or for no God’s sake, if onez an atheist) don’t go moaning, weer awl bloody grown ups after awl.
For me, I got some of the boys together and our plan is to drink so much beer, so much, that weer gonna puke in the streets, and eyem gonna enjoy that puke for the first time in my life, and why? because eyem free . . .
Fuke you Christy Moore and Fuke you Mike Scott